Today one of my client’s died. I received this information from an unconfirmed source so called the boyfriend to confirm it. An unrecognized female voice answered the phone and I ask for the boyfriend who immediately came to the phone crying. My client and her boyfriend they had a very unusual relationship. A relationship of mutual dependence and respect. Both were people that needed a lot of help in life and each one of them were able to be the help that was needed to the other in just the right amounts. Both had ways about them that were troublesome. Their practical need for each others skills helped them overcome the troublesome traits that each had. They each provided trustworthy service for each other.
I remember times when she would complain about him and something he had done and it seemed she always came around saying “that wasn’t him”. To some that would mean that he acted out of character, but to her that was a literal statement. She meant that someone else had taken his place and even though they looked just like him, it wasn't him. So she found it easier to forgive him during those times. In her mind, the real he was never anything but his best self.
Then of course there were other times when she would just praise him for how much he had done or how he had surprised her on her birthday or for some other occasion. It was impressive to see how much she loved him and despite their tarnished minds and bodies how they cared and helped each other.
When one of my client’s die it makes me think of my beliefs about life after death. My expectation is that her spirit is separate from her body and has gone to a place separate from this earth, a world of spirits. There she has a spirit that does not have the pain or disabilities she was accustomed to living with. I imagine that would be a relief but would also be a great exercise in discovering a new reality. Not only have the rules changed due to death and being temporarily without her body, but her disabilities are no longer haunting her. Two big changes to get accustomed to.
In an odd way she was a good example to me and others of dealing with obstacles. Her obstacles were often barriers with most of the rest of the human race. Nevertheless she lived in the same world as all of us though she mostly experienced it different than we do. I wish her well in her new reality and hope and expect that she will have other spirits there to help her adjust. Maybe they will have the same titles as here; counselors and case managers. I suspect now she will part of the majority and no longer a niche minority.
She did well in a very inconvenient and difficult life. My hopes and prayers for a better future go with her.
On our side of the veil when a person dies we often have feelings similar to what this song invokes.
Hymn to the Fallen by The Mormon Tabernacle Choir
On the other side of the veil, I can't help but wonder if the feeling isn't more like what is created with this song.
Battle Hymn of the Republic--Mormon Tabernacle Choir
Glory, Glory Hallelujah!