From a distance

I met with a client today that feels the weight of his problems pretty heavily.  He started out telling me what he imagined my thoughts were before he came in for his appointment.  He imagines that I take ten minutes prior to our appointment to go over affirmations for myself that I can make it through the hour we will spend together and to remind myself that the time will pass quickly.  He imagines that his problems weigh on me as much as they do on him.  When I told him that I enjoyed meeting with him and looked forward to our appointments he was unsure whether to believe me or not. 

Later in the appointment I think he thought he would throw me a curve ball that I couldn't hit.  So he wondered since I had known him for so long and knew him pretty good if I could identify five "accomplishments" in his life.  I took on the challenge and surprised him with what I came up with. 

As I think about our time today I realize that we all need to feel our lives have been worthwhile and have value to others and ourselves.  Sometimes we live so fully in the moment of life and problems that we don't see the bigger picture.  Often my job is to see that bigger picture and help my clients see it as well.  Help them see how their days piece together into a large beautiful tapestry. 



Each of our lives have beautiful patterns and when we can step back and see it from a distance we can appreciate the beauty of it.  Too often our daily lives are so close to the weave of the tapestry and daily activities of life that we cannot appreciate that something more than just survival is happening.  Certainly our tapestries are all different with different patterns, each with a beauty that requires appreciation.  Maybe the appreciation will require some detailed knowledge of our life but the beauty is there for anyone that will take the time to look, including ourselves.  When seen and appreciated in this way it is much easier to recognize the accomplishment and fulfillment that life, even a difficult life, can bring. 



When the tapestries of our family or our society or our world are all put together the combined view is beautiful as well.  So while our individual life might feel of little value in the daily grind, when seen as a whole life or as a family tapestry or a societal flow of life it fills an important place in the world, not as filler but as an integral part of the widening world around us.   



After I told him what accomplishments I saw in his life he was calmer and quiet as he considered what I had said.  He recognized that what things I highlighted from his life were indeed accomplishments.  I started at the more concrete and finished with the more character oriented ones and I think he saw himself differently than he did before.  He saw that maybe he did fit into this life and maybe wasn't the foreigner that he felt he was before.

What started with a question that he thought had no answer turned into an answer that helped him to see his valued place in life.  

This reminded me of a song by Bette Midler.  Maybe you can guess it. Here is a performance of it. 

and a second video with pictures that add to the song.

Lyrics of From a Distance by Bette Midler.

From a distance the world looks blue and green,
and the snow-capped mountains white.
From a distance the ocean meets the stream,
and the eagle takes to flight.

From a distance, there is harmony,
and it echoes through the land.
It's the voice of hope, it's the voice of peace,
it's the voice of every man.

From a distance we all have enough,
and no one is in need.
And there are no guns, no bombs, and no disease,
no hungry mouths to feed.

From a distance we are instruments
marching in a common band.
Playing songs of hope, playing songs of peace.
They're the songs of every man.
God is watching us. God is watching us.
God is watching us from a distance.

From a distance you look like my friend,
even though we are at war.
From a distance I just cannot comprehend
what all this fighting is for.

From a distance there is harmony,
and it echoes through the land.
And it's the hope of hopes, it's the love of loves,
it's the heart of every man.

It's the hope of hopes, it's the love of loves.
This is the song of every man.
And God is watching us, God is watching us,
God is watching us from a distance.
Oh, God is watching us, God is watching.
God is watching us from a distance