Never Leave Him

[Note: Today's post comes in the words of Elder Neil L. Anderson of the Quorum of the Twelve from November 2010 Ensign p39-42]

"The road of discipleship is not for the spiritually faint of heart.

As we follow the Savior, without question there will be challenges that confront us.  Approached with faith, these refining experiences bring a deeper conversion of the Savior's reality.  Approached in a worldly way, these same experiences cloud our view and weaken our resolve.

 Offense comes in many costumes and continually finds its way onstage.  People we believe in disappoint us.  We have unanticipated difficulties.  Our life doesn't turn out exactly the way we were expecting.  We make mistakes, feel unworthy, and worry about being forgiven...It could be a hundred things.

Paul admonished, :God hath not given us the spirit of fear;...Be not...ashamed of the testimony of our Lord. (2 Timothy 1:7-8)

I promise you, as you choose not to be offended or ashamed, you will feel His love and approval.  you will know that you are becoming more like Him.

Will we understand everything?  Of course not.  We will put some issues on the shelf to be understood at a later time.

Will everything be fair? It will not.  We will accept some things we cannot fix and forgive others when it hurts.

Will we feel separated on occasion from those around us? Absolutely.

I love these words from a favorite hymn:
The soul that on Jesus hath leaned for repose
I will not, I cannot, desert to his foes
That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake,
I'll never, no never, I'll never, no never

I'll never, no never, no never forsake! (How firm a foundation #85)

Lord, to whom shall we go? though hast the words of eternal life....We believe and are sure that thou art that Christ, the Son of the living God. (John 6:68-69)"

Stand on high ground, And don't go down, not even a little

Very often in life we find all kinds of reasons not to make a stand.  I mean there are all kinds of reasons to be wishy washy and to determine that making a stand in one area or on one particular issue will be a bother to us and our friends.  Some people will misunderstand our stand, others will quit their association with us, or others will laugh at us and still others may hate us.  All of that can be hard to deal with.  We care about what other people think.  We also care about what other people do and sometimes we follow them.  Recognizing our desire to be like others should help us know that some of them will want to be like us and will follow our example if we declare our standard.

It shouldn't be surprising that we get tempted to be weak and not make a definitive decision about standards.  If we won't make the decision in advance then maybe we'll waver under the heat and stress of the moment.  Sometimes we decide to keep the standard in our mind but don't tell others about it.  Kind of like keeping a standard secretly.  When our friends and associates don't know we have a standard then they assume we are much like them and will invite and encourage us without thinking about it to break that standard.  It is because our standards are so different from the world that this issue is a big deal.  Eventually the tire must hit the road however, and we have to act on our standard or not.  There are many weakening tactics to get us from proclaiming or being a living example of the standards.  Satan uses them all.  Embarrassment and concern with being accepted socially are two of the biggest.  When we do not declare our standards then ultimately it can be like having no standards at all--at least none different than the rest of the world.

In life many of our standards are like snap together furniture:  Most if not all standards rest on and are supported by other standards.  If one is weak then others are weak too.  If one falls then then most or all of it falls.  If one doesn't exist in our life then other standards literally don't have a leg to stand on, or in other words don't make sense or have meaning.  Our standards need to be linked together to keep each of them strong, stable and standing tall.  In addition when we 'link' with others who have similar standards then each of us becomes stronger resulting in the advice to associate with others that have similar high standards.  Ultimately the standards are there to protect us from harm. 


When we link with others we make us all stronger.  "This people have got to become of one heart and one mind.  They have to know the will of God and do it, for to know the will of God is one thing, and to bring our wills, our dispositions, into subjection to that which we do understand to be the will of God is another" (Discourses of Brigham Young, p. 221).

 Consequently we get talks from General Authorities encouraging us to make a stand.  We read about those who did take stands in the Bible, Book or Mormon, Pearl of Great Price and Doctrine and Covenants.  When we make a stand for standards then we are standing for Christ and against Lucifer.  So it is no surprise that we get tempted, embarrassed and hurt in an effort to keep us from making that stand.  Satan would prefer we don't draw that line in the sand, so to speak, designating what we will and will not do. 

Lehonti

Amalikiah

In the Book of Mormon we read about a story of Lehonti who protects himself and his troops on the top of the hill or mountain.  Amalikiah comes with an army to take them.  He sends envoys up the mountain asking   Lehonti three times to come down.  Lehonti refuses.  Finally Amalikiah comes up the hill.  If the story stopped there it would look like Lehonti's example helped Amalikiah be a better man.  Except Amalikiah doesn't come all the way up, but close and then asks Lehonti to come down just a little.  Lehonti falls for that and eventually loses his life and the safety of those with whom he was responsible because of that seemingly minor reduction in his standard.  Lehonti thought he was in control with his guards when he went down just a little.  But that was enough for Amalikiah to put his plan into motion for Lehonti to lose everything.  

This reminds me of Karl G. Maeser, the founder of what is today Brigham Young University, who memorably taught his students concerning honor. "I have been asked what I mean by word of honor. I will tell you. Place me behind prison walls — walls of stone ever so high, ever so thick, reaching ever so far into the ground — there is a possibility that in some way or another I may be able to escape; but stand me on the floor and draw a chalk line around me and have me give my word of honor never to cross it. Can I get out of that circle? No, never! I'd die first."  Lehonti was a great guy.  He did a lot right but ultimately he went down from his lofty position just a little and that was enough to trap him.  Similarly we can be trapped and hurt if we cross the line of honor, the standards, the line drawn in the sand. 

As Elder D. Todd Christofferson said in October 2010 Conference: "To consecrate is to set apart or dedicate something as sacred, devoted to holy purposes.  True success in this life comes in consecrating our lives--that is our time and choices--to God's purposes.  In so doing, we permit Him to raise us to our highest destiny." That's what I want, my "highest destiny". 

Manly Man Training #11: Ask Yourself

Often, we as men, go about our daily lives just moving forward.  We don't ask a lot of questions, we don't second guess a lot, we just 'keep on moving on'.  We do tend to get side tracked or at least allow our appetites and passions to interrupt our purpose and goals.  Meals tend to be attended, electronic gadgets tend to be inspected and all the other usual suspects.  Unfortunately one thing that we don't often do is that we do not ask ourselves questions very often.  Certainly we rarely ask ourselves what we feel about things.  We probably do take the time to compare where we are at with our goals from time to time.  Our education goals or our career goals and hopefully we think about our eternal goals, but maybe not as much as we should. 

Maybe one of the corner stones should be to ask our self "What kind of man do I want to be?"  Ideally we think beyond the wants of this world but more to the hopes of the next world. So if you haven't thought about it in a while here is a chance to consider:  What kind of man do you want to be?

Certainly a Manly Man, that goes without saying since you are reading this.  But when you consider and determine the type of man you want to be, think about how that differs from the man you currently are.  What changes do you need to make and which ones are you willing to begin to make now?

It is entirely possible that you do not know the way to become the man you wish to be.  So how do you find out?
1. The first step would be to tell Heavenly father your conclusion and let him know what type of man you want to be.  He may offer some additional nudging that will guide you further.
2. When you feel His approval for the direction you are going ask Him to teach, guide and empower you to become that man. 
3.  Then keep your eyes open for the different ways that the Lord will instruct you.  You will begin to see parts of Sacrament meeting talks that have help and advice for you.  You will begin to notice that lessons are dealing with things that seem directed directly at your needs.  You will begin to see friends and family bringing up things that will help in your quest to be a better man.  The Lord will very often work through others to give you the help and encouragement you need, especially after you ask for it.  It is important that while we are making these efforts to improve that we don't miss any church meetings, or conference if possible.  We need to be in the right places to get the help that the Lord is offering.  He will be inspiring folks to give what is needed and if you aren't there to hear it then it was you not the Lord that fell through.  
4.  Once in a while take a moment to notice the changes that have occurred.  Sometimes if we don't do this simple and short step then we tend to think that nothing much has changed. 
5.  Finally note and implement the helps that come.  If you can remember them without writing them down then by all means write them down.  Manly men can write without losing their strength.  If you need notes to help you remember or help them sink into your heart and soul then do it.  If you need to listen to it fifty times if that is what it takes, do it!  If you need to make it part of your monthly fast then do it. 

Another question that sometimes helps and that we men are sometimes weak in is thinking about what others think of you and what will they remember about you.  Do you think about what others think of you very often?  As men we often tend to go by the mantra 'do what needs to be done and don't worry about what people think of you'.  That mantra helps us keep going despite naysayers and that has its place.  However, it is important that we care about what people think, especially when we respect their opinion.  Sometimes considering what others think will help keep us out of trouble and away from poor decisions.  It might help us focus some of our decisions as well by not just getting to the right goal but being able to set a better example while we are doing so. 

Steven Covey has advocated the idea of contemplating our funeral and while thinking about it consider having someone speak from our professional life, our church associations and our friends.  What would these people say about us, how will we be remembered? 

Finally, what kind of a Priesthood legacy are you leaving?  Are you a Priesthood holder in name only?  What is a Priesthood legacy you might ask?  What have you done to magnify your Priesthood?  Do you make yourself available to give blessings when asked willingly without rushing and do you encourage them to ask again as needed?  Do you accept and sometimes volunteer for opportunities to do Priesthood responsibilities including home teaching?  Do you support your leaders and friends in word and actions in addition to raising the right hand when they are sustained to callings in the ward?  Is it evident that you care about what you are doing or do you act bored and disinterested.  When you are at church are you alert and participating or unresponsive and withdrawn?

There is much to consider when we start thinking about what type of man ought we to be.  Of course you well recognize the reference from the words I chose and realize that we are to be like the Master (3Nephi 27:27).  Let's start working on it now.  And if we are already having some success in that area lets keep moving forward on that great and worthy quest of becoming.

Here's a great quote by Elder Richard G. Scott that goes well with what I've been trying to say: 

"I have come to know that there are currents of divine influence in our life that will lead each of us along the individual plan the Lord would have us follow while on earth.  They are identified through the whisperings of the Holy Spirit.  Seek through the Spirit to Identify that plan and carefully follow the direction the Lord will provide.  It will come through answers to prayers and pondering on the counsel of others who are worthy.  Align yourself with it.  Choose willingly, to exercise your agency to follow it.  Do not be overcome by concentrating solely on today, its challenges, difficulties, and opportunities.  These things are the relatively insignificant surface winds and waves of today.  Such preoccupations must not totally capture your interest and attention so as to consume your life."

To Be or not to be?

Lynn G. Robbins of the Quorum of the Seventy made some remarks in conference that initially intrigued me and since have really stuck with me.  He talked about being and doing.  It is about who you are as a person versus your behavior.  He pointed out that these two things are different.  That what you do isn't as important as who you are.  Or more directly what you do isn't necessarily representative of who you are.  He suggests that our emphasis be put on becoming more like the Savior and that will lead to actions that are indeed more like him.  Our behavior will change to represent who we are as we become a better more Christ-like person. 

We have often been encouraged to do what we are asked of the Lord willingly.  In essence Elder Robbins is telling us to directly work on and change our inner selves and our outer self will change along with us to reflect who we really are. 

It reminded me of times in my life where I had known the right thing to do but didn't want to do it.  I even consciously knew it was right and knew I should want to do it, but alas I didn't really want to do it.  Ultimately my way of handling that conflict was that I wanted to want to do the right thing but I wasn't at that point yet.  Over time my wanting to want to be better helped prepare me to be the person inside that would lead to the actions I knew were right but did not yet do.    When our character and our actions match, peace and happiness are much more achievable!

Elder Robbins points out we make lists of things to do, but not lists of things to be.  He explains that we can check off things on the to do list when they are done, but we can't check off things to be, because they continue and don't end.  Consequently being is a lifetime commitment rather than doing, which is a time frame commitment.  Interestingly we complain about some commitments required or encouraged by the church (i.e. the time it takes to move a neighbor, the time to prepare for an activity or a lesson, and so forth) so we can go back home to remain the person we were without any permanent change.  It could possibly inhibit permanent change because we feel like we have done enough for the moment.  Permanent change is of course what the Lord is requiring. 

I couldn't help but wonder though if doing good things in a hypocritical way couldn't eventually lead us back to being what the Lord wants us to be, or at least encourage us to become better?  It didn't seem to work too well for the hypocrites of Christ's time.  It seems that if we choose to refrain from doing good because we don't feel like it then we are missing out on critical experience, so it must be worthwhile in some way or form to do the right thing even when we are not doing it willingly, or with the right spirit. 

I realize now that his talk was primarily a parenting talk but as I heard it I understood it as a motivational and explanatory, nuts and bolts, kind of talk for individuals.  (Kind of on the order of the book, The Bonds That Make Us Free by Terry Warner) When I read and studied the talk I realized it has huge value as a parenting talk and could be developed into a parenting class by leading a group in finding practical concrete ways of implementing what he teaches.

How do we approach the "to be" part of his talk.  How do we influence who we are becoming?  The world would like us to believe that we are developing but there isn't a whole lot we can do about who we are the world says.  The world would say that we cannot directly influence our behavior.  Elder Robbins teaches us that being taught and hearing (responding) to the word of God can impact who we are.  You see we believe in change, even a mighty change and that all are capable of that change to grow toward being like Christ. 

This talk is awesome!  Learn to be and not just do.

Conference Season

I have learned to love conference.  It seems that when we learn to appreciate conference that we begin to understand and feel the value of our modern day prophet.  That helps us to see that Heavenly Father really does care and love us today as much as any other time of the earth's existence.  Not just that he loves us as a religious group but individually and as a world.  President Monson is a prophet for the world, but we are the ones listening. 

My daughter taught me something a while back about conference.  She learned on her mission that in preparation for conference that if you will contemplate the questions you have about your life and/or the help that you need right now, and then pray with faith for the help to come, and then look and listen closely at conference that you will find the answers there.  I have found that to be true.  When we come prepared to listen and hear we will get the inspiration and guidance we are looking for.  

Go to conference!  And listen close for those answers. 

Offended? Me?

This week I've had two opportunities to teach lessons about something that has caught my eye and my thoughts from November conference 2010.  Elder Andersen gave the talk entitled "Never Leave Him".  Of course the "Him" is Christ.  One of the ways that he spoke of has been on my mind as I considered it and have looked at my life to see how it fit. 

 
 (click on his picture to go to his talk)

He said, "The Lord said, 'Thou mayest choose for thyself.'
"I promise you, as you choose not to be offended or ashamed, you will feel his love and approval.  You will know that you are becoming more like Him."
"Will we understand everything?  Of course not.  We will put some issues on the shelf to be understood at a later time."
"Will everything be fair?  It will not.  We will accept some things we cannot fix and forgive others when it hurts."
"Will we feel separated on occasion from those around us?  Absolutely."
"Will we be astonished at times to see the anger a few feel toward that Lord's Church and their efforts to steal the struggling faith of the weak? Yes. But this will not deter the growth or destiny of the Church, nor need it impede the spiritual progress of each of us as disciples of the Lord Jesus Christ."

My conclusion to date is that being offended is a temptation.  Somebody says or does something that could be offensive and we are tempted to be offended.  If offended then we act in ways that are not in harmony with the gospel.  Being offended we are disinclined to forgive, be kind, or even associate with the person in a positive way.  But if we refuse to succumb to the temptation and either forgive outright, 'put it on the shelf' as Elder Andersen says or choose to view it in a different light then we leave all the good options open and do not open up all the options that cause anger or pain or disappointment or depression.

So if we follow Elder Andersen's counsel then we avoid what is mentioned in 2 Nephi 27:31-32:  "For assuredly as the Lord liveth they shall see that the terrible one is brought to naught, and the scorner is consumed, and all that watch for iniquity are cut off:
And they that  make a man an offender for a word, and lay a snare for him that reproveth in the gate, and turn aside the just for a thing of naught."

I like to avoid problems so I will choose to not be offended.  (Remind me of that if I need that sometime.) 

I like what Pres. Hinckley said about it too: "So many of us make a great fuss of matters of small consequence.  We are so easily offended.  Happy is the man who can brush aside the offending remarks of another and go on his way." (Oct. 2007 Conference)

"Brush aside" I like that imagery.  I see me moving my hand in a 'brush aside' motion to symbolize my doing that.  But the real work would be in my mind to not run it around in my head repeatedly and to not think poorly of the offender. 

This topic has been a purveyor of some spiritual promptings this week.  Not the least of which has been that when I read it early in the week I was given forewarning that it would be a good choice for the devotional at High Council meeting which I not been asked to do until two days later.  Then again that it would make a good talk when I went to another ward today, where I wasn't expected to give a talk but did indeed fill in their program for about 15-20 minutes.  The Lord knows what he is doing.  I've had some comments that these remarks about not being offended were what was needed in both circumstances.  Interestingly I've felt like it needed to be in my blog too.  So maybe its for you? 

As luck would have it I've been tempted to be offended this very week.  So I'm learning and being influenced for good at the very time I'm doing the same for others.  So things are working according to His plan as usual.