Entering the Holy of Holies yesterday and today

Lisa and I went to Adult Education class at our church last night and were taught in an institute like class [Technically Institute is for college age people and since Lisa and I are above that age, as is everyone in the class we were in Adult Education class--boring name but enjoyably taught by Sister Marks].  We learned about Moses and Aaron and their role as High Priest's in the temple.  We learned some comparisons between the tabernacle of that time with the temples of our day. 

Washington DC temple

San Diego California temple

Accra Ghana temple

Cochabamba Bolivia temple

Back then they had The Holy of Holies and the Holy place and the outer court.  If I understood correctly the outer court was for everyone who wanted to go to the temple.  The Holy place was just for the Priesthood assigned to work in the temple and The Holy of Holies was for one specific High Priest one time a year to enter and do his duties.  A tremendous limitation when you think about it.  One time a year and only one person who had the authority and duty to complete the temple work.  By our standards today it seems extremely exclusive.  

Today we have thousands of High Priests and nowadays others can go into the temple as well, including Elders and of course women who do not require any Priesthood to enter and participate fully in the ordinances.  All adults who may enter the temple can enter the equivalent of the Holy of Holies or the Celestial Room now.  What a change from ancient times.

Now of course the question is what are we doing with this HUGE privilege that we have?  I wonder if some people don't appreciate the temple because it isn't exclusive like it was in ancient times.  Potentially every one can enter the temple--everyone who prepares themselves for that privilege.  Are you prepared?  Are you attending?  Are you gaining the spiritual power and strength that is there when you do attend?  And possibly most important: Is your attendance changing your life and blessing the lives of others when you leave the temple?

Pictures from Girl's camp 2011

Well now that everyone has returned home and had plenty of time (several days) to recuperate from girls camp I thought it might be safe to place some pictures on my blog.  I heard it was a lot of fun and hopefully the pictures can bring back some good memories. 

Girl's camp is not for sissies

I suspect you are thinking that I will write a post about the valiant young ladies and not so young ladies that lead them at girls camp.  That would be a good post, however; my intentions are to write about boys night out that resulted from our wives and daughter's sacrifice to go camping in tents into the wood with 95 degree weather during the day and thunder and lightning storms at night.

Since the women are required to be so strong at girls camp I guess the only reasonable conclusion is that the men in this case are the weak ones.  I am 50 now and can accept that status if indeed it is warranted.  And in this case I enjoy that status as shown by what my good friend and his son and I did while we were celebrating boys night during the week of girl's camp. 

Fred gave me a call and so we had him over for dinner.  I made some yellow squash and onions with a little cheese on top.  For the main dish my daughter (beyond camp age) made some chicken helper.  And later for desert we went to Bruster's ice cream.  I didn't feel bad at all that my wife and daughter along with his wife and daughter's were in the hot and rainy weather being strong while we were enjoying a nice discussion over a delicious sundae in an air conditioned ice cream parlor being weak. 

We dealt with a thunderstorm as we drove to the ice cream parlor.  He recently back from a tour in Afghanistan was driving a little bit odd, too slow, cutting the car off behind us, and staying away from the right side of the road, but we got there and were even smiling and having fun.  A nutty coconut and graham central station sundae went down very nicely.  Now I got to see what the ladies do when we have Priesthood meeting at conference time.  Nice. 

Spotlight on Women #2: Benefits to thinking like a man?

[Note: Alright, I know this is a risky topic to discuss.  I realize that a man discussing it is especially teeth gritting, nevertheless I am willing to go where no man has gone before...just long enough to lead up to the video below.]

There has been a lot (of talk, books, etc. as evidenced by the pictures above) in recent years identifying the differences between the way women and men think and act.  Depending on your point of view one way is thought to be better than the other.  I suspect that both male and female ways are better in certain circumstances.  Each gender's strengths are ideal in certain circumstances.  When they are used in other situations they don't work out quite as successfully sometimes.  Consequently, my conclusion is that there are benefits to both sets of common gender strengths.  The interesting thing is that an individual person, either male or female, typically has traits of both masculine and feminine ways of thinking and behaving.  I suspect that the most well adjusted people are comfortable with skills commonly associated with both genders. 

So if both ways have their pluses and minuses it would seem reasonable to encourage those that are married to work toward "being one".  That would allow the couple all the benefits of each gender combined.  "Being one", to me, means being united or working toward the same goals together.  Included in that idea is that the strengths of both spouses need to be used to further the success of the marriage and the family.  We would expect in a marriage situation that the partners would learn from each other and become better rounded individuals over time, increasingly complementary and overlapping in skill sets.  To me one of the best things that can happen in marriage is when both couples learn to trust, respect and then learn from each other.  

Julie Hanks (click here to go to her website) is maybe best known for her singing under her maiden name Julie de Azevedo.   She is also a therapist with an active practice and shares her ideas on the Internet and other media.  She gave an interview on KSL T.V. recently where she described some benefits for women in thinking like a man.  Here are the five ways she felt could help women:
1.  Be decisive
2. Move on after mistakes
3. Making sex a priority
4. Worry less about feelings
5. Take things at face value
I HIGHLY recommend that you watch this.  I think this would be a great thing to watch together to bring up some great discussion and growth.  As you listen to the video think about yourself and which end of the spectrum you are and then think about your spouse and where they are at with these characteristics.  My wife and I did this and we agreed that some of our individual traits are not at the typical ones you would expect for our gender.  Others were quite typical.  See what you come up with.  I would be interested to hear what you gained from it if you will leave a comment.

Julie Hanks LCSW, "Thinking like a man can be helpful"

After all of that if you want to see one artists conception of possible differences between men and women check out the comic below.  If you are already overwhelmed then just skip it. 

Spotlight on Women #1: Are we not all mothers?

In life it seems that we all have the opportunity to be or play the part of mother at some point at least briefly.  Many women spend many years if not their whole life being and doing mother.  That may sound odd, but at one time or another we all do indeed have the chance to do motherly things and be motherly people to those needing mothering.  Whether we have our own children or not and even whether or not we are a woman or a man; we still play that leadership/mentorship role in the development of children whether it be a few hours, days or a lifetime. 

Some readers will recognize that the title of this post comes from a talk by Sheri Dew

Sheri Dew mentioned an experience that she had when she had taken several of her nieces on a trip to a big city.  She knew her sisters had trusted her with their safety but wasn't overly concerned about that until they were walking to the closest church for a meeting and found themselves among a bunch of drunken revelers who they had to walk through to get to the church.  She goes on to say "Feeling no small amount of anxiety, I turned toward the girls, gathered them around me, and shouted over the din, 'Stay right with me.  Don't take your eyes off me.'  With that I began to maneuver my way through the crush of humanity, constantly looking behind me to make sure the girls were right there.  The only thing on my mind was my nieces' safety.  there were moments when I truly feared we would not make it to the church in one piece.  Drunken men with boa constrictors draped around their necks and adolescents brandishing weapons sometimes blocked our way.  It was intimidating to say the least."

I've had some occasions over the years when I was in charge of a number of children and constantly was looking to see where they are to be sure they were safe and to make myself available immediately if they needed help, training or teaching or direction or even comfort.  That is what mother's often do--provide whatever is needed at the proper time.  And some mothers become aware of that time before their kids even know it and that guidance is given and consequently not even noticed since the child didn't feel the crisis before being nudged in the right direction.

But the truth is that the term mother isn't just about maternity and having children.  Being a mother is a skill set that tends to be there with women (and I believe can be developed to some degree in men).  That mothering ability can in emerge whenever needed whether it be with a person's own children, another child in need or even providing motherly comfort or advice to an adult.   

I remember a story that my mother told me about herself when she was a little girl of around five or so.  Another child was playing near her at a park and fell and got hurt and started crying.  That child was larger than my Mom at the time but she rushed over to help the child and "mothered" it despite her young age and small size. 

Being a mother is part of a woman and not limited to only women who have had children.  Don't we often see that a wife ends up mothering her husband?  Maybe we could say that mothering is a quality and not a condition.  The interesting thing with that quality is that the world is combining against that skill trying to diminish, minimize, limit and destroy it.  It is easy to see why when you consider that the more success he has killing the desire and ability to mother then he can negatively impact the lives of huge numbers of children who will not have receive the vital caring and mentoring provided by a mother.  That lack alone has and will continue to contribute to the difficulties that ours and other societies are having.  As Sheri Dew says, "what a mother teaches a child doesn't get erased." and "few of us will reach our potential without the nurturing of both the mother that bore us and the mothers who bear with us".

Sometimes the question of comparing motherhood to priesthood arises.  Sheri Dew says this about that: "Motherhood is not what was left over after our Father blessed His sons with the privilege of priesthood ordination.  it was the most ennobling endowment He could give His daughters, a sacred trust that gave woman an unparalleled role in helping His children keep their second estate.  As President J. Reuben Clark, Jr., declared, motherhood is 'as divinely called, as eternally important in its place as the Priesthood itself.'"

So ladies, when you are tempted (and I mean that literally) to downplay your role, whether it is just in your mind, word or in action please remember that your motherly skills, are indispensable to both genders and to God's plan for us all.  Please know that despite much of the world buying into the tempters plan to diminish the role of mothers, that there are many men and women alike that realize its eternal value to us individually and to the race as a whole.  It doesn't matter it the woman are young or old, large or small, strong or weak,brilliant or slow, we need all their contributions, every one!  Remember this preeminent gift that you have and please use it freely, we all need it. 

Motherhood

There is no doubt that we as men don't have adequate appreciation for all that Mothers do.  They keep so many things going including the magic of cleaning clothes and making meals and often working at a job and calming, teaching and raising children.  So much to do and much of it is a challenge.

I had a bit of an opportunity for a few months to learn some things about motherhood from the inside.  When my wife and I moved to this state we agreed that the first one to get a job would go to work and the other would care for our three young children at home.  One was entering the first grade and the two others were not old enough to attend school at the time.  So as luck, or more likely Heavenly Father, had it my wife found the job first.  That meant I was going to learn a lot and have a very interesting several month experience.  I stayed home to care for the children, met my daughter after school and prepared dinner daily.  I think I was first string on washing the clothes too, but I'm sure my wife could tell you for certain.  Over time I began to do day care at my home and had as many as 8 children at home at a time.  I learned to appreciate mothers more than ever! 

As I think back there isn't a lot of detail sticking out in my mind.  Oh, a few specific outstanding experiences and some memories of my learning to make homemade salsa (that was an interest of mine at the time) and I remember writing during nap time, but most of the day to day experience of things is lost to my current memory.  So I have a little insider enjoyment of this video clip entitled "In tha Muthahood".  It is a rap song that is fun and clean. 

I first saw that video on a blog that I read (click here to go to it).  Hopefully you can smile and laugh at the video and not wince and grimace.  That reminds me of a movie about parenthood that Lisa and I saw years ago.  We thought it was pretty funny initially.  Others that we recommended it to didn't think it was funny, they said it hurt or was too much like their family to laugh. 

Mothers most often shape the world for us as a child.  And that shaping lasts far into adulthood. Because mothers are so influential they have gotten much of the blame for things that are going wrong in society as well as in individual people's lives.  I hear that a lot in my field when someone tells me that their behaviors now are due to their mother.  I say if you can think that through well enough to verbalize it that clearly, then you can figure out that you are responsible for your actions now, not your mother! 

The truth is the vast majority of mothers really do all they can and make tremendous sacrifices for their children.  I had an opportunity today to talk to two mothers.  One was retired and her children were grown and another had one child who was just high school age.  The younger one expressed concern over how much to push her child to get him to grow and become the person that he can be.  The other looking at life from the other end was settled, peaceful and supportive of doing the best you can but trusting that they will remember what you have taught them when it is critical.  We decided the trick was in not pushing so much that they learned not to take responsibility but not so little that they didn't think it mattered.  Not an easy balance to make.

As a father, I have been pleased to be a part of that shaping of our children.  I have seen close up the tremendous love and detail involved in motherhood as well as the tremendous sacrifice and deferral of self that a mother does to care for and prepare her children on a daily and life long basis.  I could never diminish those who have fulfilled their life by being a mother.  Instead I can learn from them. 

My mother has been a great influence in my life.  I chose this picture, which is from Christmas 2005, because she has always loved Christmas and Christmas time.  She has taught me that love, not just for Christmas but for Christ.  Aside from that she has taught me to love and care for people, all kinds of people not just ones like me.  She has taught me many things that I treasure to this day and plan to treasure throughout my life. Her influence in my life has gone through me now to my own children.  And since all of them are girls I fully expect that my mother's influence will have great impact on another generation...soon.  Thanks Mom for everything and don't worry, I won't forget you.