Courageous: The Movie

See the movie trailer and the theme song video at the bottom of this blog.

One of the big problems of very recent years is that a father's crucial involvement in his family has been diminished.  I will grant you that in times gone by it appears that father's were granted powers, by society, that were beyond their ability to manage well.  Now, however; we find ourselves in a time where fatherhood is nearly meaningless to much of our population.  For one thing many fathers don't stick around or have any, much less meaningful, contact with their children.  Then there are the father's that do remain in contact but who play the part of Santa Claus multiple times in the year rather than a father.  Another variety are father's who do remain in the home, but either do little to nothing to influence the lives of their children, or are so controlling or out of control that their influence is harmful to the family.  

In the midst of this comes a fantastic movie that shows men in different poor varieties of fatherhood who become motivated and then make a pact to be better fathers.  In the movie they are primarily policeman and they see much of the worst of society, seeing much that is majorly influenced by poor fatherhood.  One is a father of a child he has never seen.  One is trying hard to do what is right, but due to not having had a father figure in his own life, he is just competing with his absent dad to be better than him.  Another has little to do with his children except to make decisions when needed.  And then there is the divorced father who has token contact but feels little connection.  Finally there is the father that has been struggling with keeping a job, and is desperate to work to support them.  These fathers make a resolution to be better father's with very specific hopes in mind.

There is some action for those men who want some action in their movie (gun play, car chase, a shootout etc.).  The action is not the point of the movie but is meant to show two things I think.  One, that of course policemen have some action in their lives and two, that men can be good people even in the midst of dangerous action.

There is unadulterated religion in this movie.  There is lots of prayer, there is a church scene, and there is mention of going to church regularly.  There is some testimonies of Christ and some proselytizing.

My wife commented that she was shocked that we could see a movie like this in a public theater.  Keeping in mind that the movie has been out about four weeks (which I considered a positive that it stayed in the theater that long) by the time we had seen it. We had seen a preview of this movie when we saw Soul Surfer and this was at the top of our list of movies we wanted to see. Due to a variety of things that have been going on in our lives over the last month we did not get to see it until now.

There is family dysfunction and even a gang trying to be a family in this movie showing one way that those without families try to create something to take its place.  The men in the movie are not all great father's and even with the resolution they all don't succeed.  They struggle and try and not all are successful.  The men even look like normal guys--not Hollywood types.  They aren't "pretty", some are overweight and the movie makes it clear that we are talking about real families not fantasy families.

There is a good mix of skin colors with the associated strengths and weaknesses that are often present with each one.  The movie shows though that the way to be a good father is common among them all.

This was a great movie, that really has some potential to motivate a hard group in our society to improve.  Men often avoid talking, sometimes thinking, or feeling important things about their families.  Our society has convinced many that they need not, cannot or should not spend time evaluating or examining themselves in this area of their life.  Many men have been mistreated or not mentored by their fathers and have no blueprint for what a real man should be--making them more easily influenced by societal messages of what a man should be.  This movie brings some of those feelings to the surface during the show and hopefully men will find a way to let those feelings push them to be better fathers.

It is not just that our children and wives need this.  Not even that the men themselves need this and may not know it. But ultimately our society and world need this.  I applaud those that made the movie and put it out there where it needs to be, competing with all the inept, incompetent and poor representations of fatherhood that prevail in the world.  This should make you feel something.  It should bring thoughts of your father to you.  It should make you think about the father you have been. It should make you think seriously about the father you want and need to be.  In this case, you may see more clearly with a few tears in your eyes.

Now for my sons-in-law:  I know you don't have any children yet--all the better to get started and be prepared, watch this movie, and pay close attention to what it teaches.  There WILL be a test.   Sincerely -- Dad

P.S. There were two scenes that especially touched me as a father of four daughters.  

First the scene where one father takes his daughter out to eat in a fancy restaurant.  She comments that it is really a nice place and is surprised that her father would bring her there.  He comments that she is worth it.  Then he tells her how important she is to him and asks if she will trust him with decisions about who she will date.  Then he gives her a ring to wear on her wedding ring finger until she gets married that will remind her of how much she is loved by her father.

The other is when a little girl asks her father to dance with her.  He is embarrassed and worried that people will see them dancing, so he tells her that he will watch her dance instead.  I thought that was a sure sign that later in the movie he would do the embarrassing deed.  I was kind of right, but even more meaning is foreshadowed in that scene. 

Here is the trailer for the movie:

Below is the video of the theme song "Courageous" by Casting Crowns mixed with scenes from the movie.

Update on Elder Trevor Strong (Modern Hero #5)

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In a newspaper article published today interviewing Trevor's father Gordon the father had some thoughtful statements.  

In a blog written two days ago, I recognized Elder Trevor Strong as a Modern Hero.  It appears that again Heavenly Father is using this to have an impact for good, including having an impact on others for good.  I always find it amazing and even miraculous that Heavenly Father uses our best efforts and sometimes even our weak efforts, as well as our tragedies to help us and others be turned to our Savior Jesus Christ.  Not only was Elder Strong a great missionary in the Lord's service, but his death can impact his family and others to remind all of us of our Savior and in remembering to turn our lives a little more directly to Him. 

Regarding his son's decision to extend his mission a few weeks he is quoted in the article as saying: "Sure, I say to myself, 'Boy, I wish . . . '"Gordon said. "But then I stop myself. He was doing what he wanted to do. He was doing the Lord's work. He was happy. This isn't what we expected. But this is the way it is. His mission has been extended — just a lot longer than we anticipated."

Regarding calling Trevor's twin brother, also serving a mission to tell him of his brother's death: "the hardest phone call I ever had to make." It was an emotional moment on the phone for both father and son. "He wept, and so did I," Gordon said softly. "I remember him saying, 'He's half of me. What am I going to do?'
"I told him, 'You've been teaching the Plan of Salvation for two years. This is where you learn it,'" Gordon said, adding: "We're all going to learn it."

Gordon's response to if he had negative feelings about his son's death: "For me to be bitter or negative wouldn't be useful to anyone," he said. "We live in a world where things are not perfect, where accidents happen. I find that when I dwell on the negative, I feel no comfort. But when I try to focus on the positive and just move on, that's where I find the joy."

And finally what brings the father comfort: "This is a young man who lived what he taught," Gordon said. "He's with his Heavenly Father now. As a father, there is great comfort in knowing that."

Wow!  Could a father be any more humble and articulate in honoring his son's life and service?.