Sometimes we get stuck seeing things our way. Would you like to see some things through another set of eyes? Maybe it will make you think and stretch or maybe just chuckle or shed a tear. Here is my world through my eyes...

Friday, April 8, 2011

Loving with eyes wide open

An early American proverb says "Before marriage keep your eyes wide open and after marriage keep your eyes half shut." 

Keep Your Eyes Open

The eyes wide open part I totally understand.  Certainly you want to be aware and notice everything you can before taking the important step of committing to this person forever.  So look and listen and ask questions and make judgments and determine priorities.  This is an important time to get all the info you can.  See them in many situations: with their family (especially how they treat their parents) and with children ( to see how they handle children and if they are comfortable).  Don't protect them during those times when situations come up and things begin to unravel.  Notice how they handle it.  Are they quick to blame, forgive easily or do they enjoy the situation and just go with it? 

Its the eye half-shut thing that I don't understand.  You know it is hard to keep your eyes half shut.  And I'm not convinced you should.  Oh, I see the wisdom in being half judgmental or to keep looking for their potential, but I think you should keep your eyes wide open still gathering information and seeing what you can learn to better understand this person you have now married.  After all you are putting a lot of hope for the future into them and all the information you can get will be helpful in understanding where they are and how to get there with them. 

It seems if you leave your eyes half-open for very long with a mental prohibition to open them wide then you will likely end up with them closed!  Now how can you create a great marriage with your eyes closed?  Unless of course you are blind and your other senses are enhanced? 

I've been impressed with my daughter who is engaged.  By all appearances she is fully in love with her fiance.  But she seems to be keeping her eyes wide-open.  She has asked tough questions and had honest talks with him.  She has paid attention to how he is handling things and his relationship with his parents--especially his Mom.  It is true that she has eased up on him a little since he has passed the initial tests and so all is moving well toward a well yoked marriage. 

Now as to what she will do with her eyes after marriage I can't say.  But I'll have fun watching with my eyes wide-open! 

1 comment:

  1. i think being married has helped me open my eyes wider towards myself! when i see that something i am doing is giving cause for pain to be inflicted on mike - this wonderful man that i love whom have chosen to be with forever - it makes me look inward and see what i might be doing wrong because if there is something that i should change then i want to do it to make things easier for both of us :) after all, we are a team!!!


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