Couch pain

I've heard a number of couch stories recently and some of them speak of dismemberment and necessity.  I used to think of couches as comfort and relaxation but it seems it must be well earned. 

The more normal couch stories are the ones like these.  Couch is purchased and needs to be moved into the house or to a different room.  It doesn't fit easily and all kinds of movement of the couch in mid air or hard pushing and shoving are needed.  Sofa sleepers always open at unexpected times during this process and cause damage to walls and/or people.  In these stories the couch ultimately makes it into the proper place and dominates the room by its presence. 

Then there are the less normal stories that I've been hearing lately.  Couch is purchased and no amount of physical effort or creative contortions can get it in the house.  So window is removed so it can get in and may never find its way out of the house (or room for that matter) again.  Or most recently a couch that would not go through the necessary door.  All manner of coaxing doesn't succeed, even the missionaries are unable to arrange the blessed event.  Sweating and laughing people also are unsuccessful.  One leg of couch removed shows the desperation of the owner and couch suddenly complies and squeezes through the space.  As a reminder couch is given a can of soup as a peg leg to remind it that quick compliance it prized more than the sacrifice of extremities. 

But the best story of all:  Couch cannot go up to attic apartment so it is pampered and manhandled until the Dr. cuts it into three parts, moves it into apartment and then reassembles it.  Frankenstein recliner results. 

So the lesson that is evident here?  Humans are masters of the couch. 

Appropriate question to be asked:  Why do we make couches bigger than home doors?

Interesting lesson learned:  The couches of today will require pain and effort thus leading to increased appreciation of relaxing reclining whether in the home or on the porch. 

So what now?  Houses of the future must be built with a front door and back door, but there must be a couch door as well!