Sometimes we get stuck seeing things our way. Would you like to see some things through another set of eyes? Maybe it will make you think and stretch or maybe just chuckle or shed a tear. Here is my world through my eyes...

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

I want to hold your hand

Some of us might remember the title of this post as lyrics from a Beatles song from the 60's.  I am not a Beatles fan and they are not the point here.  The point is again my in-laws.  If you don't know what inspirations they have been giving the rest of the family lately please go to this post and read about it: They Twain Shall Be One.  My mother-in-law recently wrote to tell us of their second meeting since the accident, I think it will continue to inspire you to read it.  Mom is able to use her computer and send emails and etcetera via voice control. 
She writes:
This morning Lynell and Lesli brought Gary to visit me. That's the second time we have been together since his accident. We had a wonderful visit and were able to sit outside on the patio for a while. Gary has made great progress this week. His therapists are very happy with what he has accomplished. He is able to go several hours a day without the use of the trach so the weaning process is going well. He was able to speak with some volume today and some of what he said was understandable. He is able to move his own wheelchair using one leg and one arm. It's good to see that strength returning. He's also sipping water from a glass and has eaten some applesauce as well. He can also wash his own face, put on his own glasses and wipe his own nose. Maybe I should be jealous – I can't do those things for myself. He also was able to use a standing frame and transfer without the aid of the Hoyer lift. Those and other things mark a lot of progress this last week. I'm really pleased that he's working so hard and is having such good success. He wanted to hold my hand while he was here today and maneuvered until he was able to do that. I'm looking forward to holding hands more often ASAP. I feel like he's making big steps now instead of the baby steps we had seen before. Thanks for your prayers, concern and love that have helped us move along down this path. Love, Loray

It is amazing to me the things we take for granite.  Of course we most often don't even realize how little we regard certain abilities and privileges we have on a daily basis...until they are gone. [Note: surely there is some way to be grateful before we lose what we have.]  Of course I am talking about holding hands.  The effort that Dad has to go to to "maneuver" as Mom called it so he could hold her hand, where in the past that was something that was easy, even considering Mom's limitations.  It's enough to make me take a day off and hold my my wife's hand all day.  Well...almost.  Maybe the situation will be such that I'll look back at this and wish I had. 

I can remember some of the first times I held a girls hand (not my mother or sister) and the feelings that created in me.  Now hand holding is a comfortable and comforting activity to help me feel like my wife and I are acting together, as one, or at least getting there.  I'm going to try and let this inspire me to appreciate the seemingly simple activities that show love and solidarity with my wife.  And for you two girls that have a husband and fiance handy, do more handholding! 

"This years fancies are passing fancies, but sighing sighs, holding hands.  These my heart understands." 
--Beegie Adair (Musician)


  1. Cute, dad!!! You don't have to try to talk me into holding mike's hand though - it is one of my favorite activities and best talents :) and I try to fall asleep every night holding his hand :)

  2. dallas, i wish i had a hand to hold. thanks for holding my hand coming down the hill at


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