Sometimes we get stuck seeing things our way. Would you like to see some things through another set of eyes? Maybe it will make you think and stretch or maybe just chuckle or shed a tear. Here is my world through my eyes...
I like this picture which symbolizes to me that reading can lead to growth and
increasing our understanding. It can be a seed that grows to fruition of our thoughts
to action.
I've enjoyed reading some more good books and am pleased to have the time to get back to doing that regularly. I'm glad to say that it seems my daughters are increasing their reading here lately and fun to be involved with them a little bit. Jaime ask me for a recommendation on a book with a certain topic the other day (I'm choosing not to mention the topic), so I recommended it to her and bought it and sent it to her via Amazon.com. Haleigh continues to read up a storm. She had a chance to earn some money the other day and now has a list of books she wants to purchase. Hilary has gotten into one of my favorite series of books which is the Ender's Saga by Orson Scott Card and she has been reading some of that. Which by the way I notice he will be having a new book come out in that series on November 28 of this year. Now what about Megan? I don't know if she is reading or not. I suspect that she is tied up in some other pursuits currently. Here is what I've been reading:
The Silence of God by Gale Sears
This was a very enjoyable book about the first LDS family in Russia starting around the tend of the rule of the Tsars and the Bolshevik revolution. It is a novel based on the real experiences that they had. It was written well and grabbed me and made me interested in finding out about the family and wanting to know what would happen next. It even seemed possible that a sequel could be written although I haven't heard anything about that eventuality. The family is introduced and seems very normal like we would expect good Mormons to act in Russia. Then things begin to change in their country and their tiny niche of religious comfort is destroyed as the country changes its ideology and attempts to destroy all religion in general. An enjoyable read.
The Confession by John Grisham
I read this book because my daughter Hilary had read it and enjoyed it. I had read a couple of his books in the distant past but nothing in recent years and decided to give it a try. It caught me very quickly and pulled me in. I would call this book not so much of a courtroom procedural but rather a "law procedural". He tells the story of a young girl who disappears and is presumed murdered. The perpetrator is found and after confessing his guilt ends up on death row but the body is never found. Years later as the death penalty approaches for the man who has declared his innocence since his confession, a creepy career criminal enters a minister's office in another state and confesses to the murder. Lots of questions of ethics and some religious questions are brought up to consider. For me it was a fast read and I found many of the characters very worthwhile examples (i.e. the family of the man who was falsely imprisoned for years & the minister).
Ender in Exile by Orson Scott Card
If you have read my summaries in the past you know I typically enjoy books written by Orson Scott Card. This one is no exception. As a matter of fact I like this book more than others he has written recently. For a few years I wasn't able to do much reading but now I think I have caught up on all his books I missed. This book is the direct sequel of Ender's Game. It does an excellent job of filling in some of the gap between Ender's Game and Speaker for the Dead. It also does well with incorporating things that were discussed in the "Shadow Series" that parallels Ender's Game. It is a pleasure to see how OSC deals with peoples thoughts and feelings. To see how people learn from life--not always logically (or correct lessons for that matter) is also one of OSC's fortes. I recommend this book if you have read anything in the Ender's Universe and you enjoy OSC.
Containment by Christian Cantrell
I purchased this book for my kindle because it was a really great price and seemed interesting. I was not familiar with the author so didn't know what to expect. It was surprisingly good. This is a colony of humans sent to Venus to learn how to eventually learn how to colonize the galaxy. They struggle and the second generation holds the hope of the whole colony. What one brilliant young man learns and then ultimately acts on will change everything. I would recommend this book if you are a science fiction fan. Don't expect that you won't guess what is about to happen, but instead enjoy how the author brings it about.
"Wear the old coat and buy the new book."
My sentiments exactly, I can make do with an old coat, but sometimes I just gotta have that new book!
Austen Phelps was a minister and professor of sacred rhetoric and homiletics.
After the recent dissemination of information about Joseph's last dream, now we have some information about Emma's last dream. Joseph and Emma were husband and wife and after Joseph's murder she was left to raise their children and they remained in Nauvoo when most of the saints left t go westward.
To me the intriguing part of the dream is the patience required to have all her children who had died in mortality. Was the patience for her to wait until the end of her life or was it intended to refer to additional patience after death? Being a parent that has had a child die, I can understand the desire to have that child again and it is hoped that the opportunity to raise those children will occur in the Millennium.
Maybe you'll find this video interesting as well.
This post is written in answer to a post on Modern Mormon Men blog written by Matt Lipps. Please read his post by clicking here. It will make my post even more understandable!
When I was a young man aged 18 I was planning on a mission. I had been planning for years. Maybe because of my uncle who was a missionary for another church and had served his life as a missionary to Haiti and was celibate throughout, it was impressed in my mind that a mission was JUST for two years and then we were expected to get onto the even more important business of building a family. Consequently, and unusually I'll bet, I studied to be a husband and parent for years before I served a mission. Yes, I read books on the subject, but probably more importantly I paid attention to several examples around me. I paid attention to my Dad and Mom and how they related to each other. I watched my sister and her husband and learned all kinds of good things for my eventual marriage. The married ward members provided me with supplimental material as I paid attention to the little ways they showed that they cared about each other...or not.
Now I don't tell you that to make all Mormon young men think that is what they should be doing with their time. After all, I just did that with a little bit of my time. I still liked playing and watching sports, adventures, and of course girls. What I am trying to say is that I think most of us have noticed some of these things about the relationships going on around us. We have likely noted things to do and not to do in a marriage relationship from our parents. Consequently, we are not without preparation. Even if you have been totally inattentive or lacking in opportunity and missed it growing up, you now have time to start paying attention, learning and preparing for marriage.
So many people are worried that they are not ready to get married. I doubt very many people can be ready due to the fact that generally we cannot anticipate adequately most of the ways that marriage requires us to learn, grow, stretch, and repent. All we have to be is committed to the institution of marriage by accepting that it is the pattern that we need to be a part of in our life and then to choose a person (note, I do not say fall in love) but choose a person that we decide we will love and commit to not stop loving them. Voila you have a marriage ready to start and then can get down to the real work of marriage after the ceremony.
The real work of marriage is of course making it last forever. If we worry over much about getting ready to marry we will be tempted to think that the work is over when we are married. Admittedly it does feel like that after you have gone through an engagement and done all the preparation that our society demands to get married; but that is just the beginning. Now begins the real work of learning, respecting, repenting, loving, growing spiritually and every other way, caring, accepting our weaknesses and making them into strengths or at least adequately kick-starting the change, forgiving, sacrificing and the many other things that are a part of marriage. Then after that foundation--whether months or years--have children and dig deeper into all the things you thought you had learned, because now you have to know them well enough to teach someone else--not just think you know them enough to get by--but really know them inside and out.
I suspect that there are additional major transitions in married life yet to come that I haven't experienced yet. Maybe the transition we call empty nest which some might say should be called "empty next". Then what about maintaining a marriage through the older years of loss and infirmity. Caring enough for each other to still love even when your spouse, or maybe you, can't show it in the same ways. Possibly finally showing that we will not forget our love, our promises and our covenants when only one of us remains here alive. Marriage and family life are so full of transitions, major and jarring transitions (sometimes) that we can't possibly prepare for them all adequately and yet we need to move forward through them and beyond when they occur. And don't forget learning all the cumulative lessons along the way.
You see my wife and I married shortly after each of us returned from a mission. We had minimal money, not even a car for the first couple years we were married. We didn't find that college courses nor low income were good enough reasons to not start having children right away. And when our first child was born dead we continued on despite the loss and pain. Why should we be spared the pain that many others go through? We learned about each other and used our challenges as methods to learn to trust and depend on each other. We always kept building our relationship and love for each other. There were frustrations, lack of money sometimes, always plenty of ways to spend what money we did have, but we wouldn't allow that to define our marriage or each of us individually. We even had joy throughout! Maybe not always as much as we hoped for but enough to let us know that life was good and that we were on the right track.
My wife and I knew each other as missionaries. When I returned home seven months before her from our mission I knew it was time to get going on the part of life that would really define me: husband and father. So when I considered my options a lightbulb went off in my mind when I thought I would like to marry someone like Lisa. Why not her?! Well there wasn't a good reason, so I waited until she finished her mission and flew to her state shere she picked me up from the airport and I asked her to marry me. Yup, it was our first date.
I know that in this day and age of caution and distrust, when we wonder if people are who they really seem to be and worry if they will continue in the same upward trajectory over the next many years that we find it hard to trust enough to choose. Often we either go with our hormones alone or give up and back out. Many let fear and uncertainty take control and we exclude ourselves until temptation or failure overcomes us. We have a resource to help and guide us (I'm talking about God here and not just parents and siblings and etc.), we have our own best efforts and our willingness to commit. Maybe I am most clear on the fact that I know I personally have a great influence on how things turn out--maybe we could call that confidence or maybe it is stupidity, you choose. Sure there is much outside of my control, but I prefer to see and accept and use what is within my control to work toward the goals that I choose and have covenanted to work toward.
The preparation for marriage was helpful, but the experience of living marriage was more worthwhile. Reading and watching got me thinking but reality got me acting in the ways I needed to act. Marriage is a fantastic way to learn who you really are and then repent and be better. The best preparation for a man is not the books or even the observation (though still valuable). The best preparation is an honorable mission. It will probably not make you feel ready for marriage and fatherhood, but it will start or strenthen your confidence and provide humility enough for growth. Missions also are great for young women to help them prepare for marriage. In their case however (possibly because they are older when they serve) it seems to polish the confidence and humility and etc. that they already had inklings of.
Oh, and a note about fears of getting married. Heavenly Father isn't the author of fear, rather he is the author of hope. Hope that like faith requires work and effort to make meaningful. So ditch the fear stuff and get on with it. If you have some emotional problems or special circumstances than get some help for those to get in better shape. If not then carry on, move forward and see what all the marriage hullabaloo is about.
While I am at my daughter's wedding having one of those top experiences in our life, I thought I would put together this list of some of my favorite posts that are not in the top ten. I have noticed recently lots of folks like to check out my top viewed posts but often missing some really thoughtful posts that have been published when as many folks were not looking. I hope you check them out and enjoy them, but maybe even better find some inspiration in them for you in your life.
So here are my top ten favorite posts that are not in the top ten: [click on the title of the post to go check it out]
So these are some of my favorites. I hope you enjoy them. I shouldn't be too long recuperating from the wedding so come back soon to see what else is floating around in my head.
I guess my thoughts are still on marriage as evidenced by posts earlier this week. Marriage is such a highlight of life. I don't mean THE wedding but rather the potential for a marriage to become hugely meaningful in our lives. I remember early in marraige with my wife. We were students in college and despite all the work that is required in school and the jobs we had, we seemed to have lots of time to talk about things that were important: experiences from our life that made us who we are, opinions and family history, and our dreams for the future.
Those were good times. Times before the careers. Times before elevated responsibilities in work and life. Times before all the questions and learning and trusting of parenthood. Those were days that I highly prize because it is through those many talks and gentle and sometimes tense conversations that I learned the beginnings of understanding my wife. If truth be told, I also learned a lot about understanding myself. There is something about putting things in words that can help us recognize, realize and understand things (including ourselves) in new ways.
We do manage to have those conversations from time to time now, but not as compacted and as revelatory as in times past. Now 27 years later we have learned a lot about each other. Much of our experience is common between us. We have raised years of children together. Even though we of course were not together every minute or even most minutes we saw how each other think, react, and how we have each grown over the years. We understand each other way better than ever before.
Oh, don't ge me wrong there is still the surprise when we learn something new that we never knew about the other, or when we react in a way unexpected. Mostly though things are very comfortable. Few egg shells to walk on, no bombs to maneuver around, just comfortable understanding.
Those early times of self revelation and questions answered were like Christmas morning, opening presents and not sure what to expect. Now, they are like opening presents of shared experience and expected appreciation for each other. Very comfortable and valued times.
I guess I should admit that life is not bliss, entirely. There is still much to learn, and hopefully lots of experiences to share. We still have our weaknesses and foibles. Even some new ones we didn't know about back then. But we also have compensitory new strengths that have been developed through struggle and practical application. We have gained appreciation for each other and are confident that we are valued by each other. Our trust has greatly deapened. And the fact that we are trusted and have confidence in each other has helped each one of us have increased confidence and trust in our own selves, individually and as a couple.
We feel loved and that enables us to love others all the more. Of course to love our children but also to love beyond our family, friends, even sometimes strangers and some people we have adopted into our family and they feel like parts of our family.
This post was brought forward in my thinking as a result of a song I ran across by Lou Rawls. When I thought back to my youth I forgot his music and just recently ran across it and this song (which by the way I do not remember from years gone by) reminded me of how this closeness and peace has come to our lives over the years.
I look at that early time in our marriage as a time of revealing ourselves to each other and building the foundation of our marriage and our family. We still add to that foundation from time to time, but the heaviest work was done in those early months and has allowed us to rest on that foundation frequently and as needed. Sometimes we laid heavily on that foundation and other times lightly but always we have depended on it as it gave us the beginnings of understanding each other. Listen to the song and see what it reminds you of.
Our third daughter turned 21 a couple of weeks ago. Rather than choosing to go out to dinner, she asked me to make one of her favorites here at home (chicken pot pie). She asked her dad to make her an ice cream cake (she has never liked actual cake, even as a kid). And then, after dinner and opening her presents, we all went down to the family room and watched "Tangled" together.
This in vivid contrast to the way the world would suggest she mark this "passage into adulthood".
It's actually quite ironic; celebrating your coming of age, your maturity, your adulthood, by taking mood- and mind-altering substances into your body--so much so that the next morning, you are hard-pressed to remember just what you did and who you did it with.
How much more mature, more adult--in the true sense of the word--to respect your spirit and your body, and to remain master of both. To spend time with people you care about, to enjoy their company, and to have those memories the next morning.
That's the recipe for a happy birthday--and a pretty good foundation on which to build a happy life.
Last week I rented a Red Box DVD for the first time ever. Hilary went online and found a Red Box location nearby, and reserved the movie for us. So after dinner we took our homemade ice cream cake to the family room and watched "Tangled" as a family for her birthday.
My job the next morning was to return the DVD to the Red Box. I'm the right person for this job because I am the one who would have the biggest problem paying an extra dollar for an additional day's rental. Since the Red Box was only about a block out of my way, I just left a couple of minutes early for work, intending to drop it off and be on my way.
I had gone with Hilary to pick up the DVD; I watched her retrieve it and noticed it should be returned to the same slot. So when I got to the Red Box that morning, I tried to insert the DVD into the slot. But it wouldn't be inserted. I checked the DVD case to make sure I had oriented it correctly (which I had). I tried to change the angle I used to insert the DVD (which I couldn't). I tried again to insert the DVD into the slot, only this time I pushed a little harder (it still wouldn't go in). I tried to insert that DVD into that slot a couple more times; the physical equivalent of repeating my guesses for charades a little louder, and then a little louder than that, because I must be right after all, and my teammate must not have heard me!
By this time I'm feeling pretty silly, wondering if people driving by in their cars are chuckling a little at the clueless woman trying to return her DVD. Just then, the light bulb over my head must have illuminated, for the thought came to me that perhaps I had to DO something on the screen before the slot would accept my offering. Sure enough, one little tap in the proper place on the screen, and--voila! The Red Box ate that little DVD just like an obedient toddler gulping down his strained peas.
Too bad it's not only at the Red Box that we figuratively beat our heads against the wall, sure that if we just try that one more time, we'll finally meet with success. This despite ample evidence of failure through multiple previous attempts. Albert Einstein once defined insanity as doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome. By that definition, we've all suffered from insanity at one time or another.
So if you're in the insanity loop, try reading the directions. Talk to someone you respect who's experienced what you're going through. Talk to God. Listen to what He tells you through His servants, old and new. And then test their counsel by putting it into practice.
This past Sunday I was the substitute teacher in Sunday School. The main parable of the lesson was the Prodigal Son. This quote in the lesson by Gordon B.Hinckley has really had me thinking: "Every parent ought to read it again and again. It is large enough to encompass every household, and enough larger than that to encompass all mankind, for are we not all prodigal sons and daughters who need to repent and partake of the forgiving mercy of our Heavenly Father and then follow His example?” (“Of You It Is Required to Forgive,” Ensign, June 1991, 5).
As a father my thoughts tend to turn first to what it must have been like for him. Here is a poem I wrote as I contemplated what it must have been like for the father.
Prodigal's Father
He sat and watched the horizon
remembering the day, feeling the feelings, again:
his failure, the guilt, the teetering hope.
The day life changed family changed peace and comfort changed to pain and loss.
"I know he has struggled, chafed under family rules but please Lord, bring him safely home."
This prayer mumbled aloft, thought again and again, prayed on hurting knees over and over again.
I was in Sunday School this Sunday and the teacher directed us to this verse to show us how Christ was following what Heavenly Father wanted him to do. John 8:29: "And he that sent me is with me: the Father hath not left me alone; for I do always those things that please him."
This reminded me of a story that my Dad had told me from his life that suddenly made this verse mean more to me.
When my Dad volunteered to enter the Army and go to war during World War 2 he had a few days of leave to go home before being shipped overseas. He was at home and feeling the possibility that he might never return from war alive like was happening to so many young men during that time. He was talking to his Mom and told her that he didn't know if his Dad loved him and that was important for him to know as he went to war. His father had never told him those words, "I love you". So Dad wondered if his Dad loved him or not.
His mother replied with a story. She reminded him of a time when he was younger when his father had sent him in the dark to walk a couple miles to pick up something, I believe it was some water they needed at the house. My Dad hadn't wanted to do that because he was scared of some neighbor's dogs that were known to be mean and he was afraid they would attack him while he was out walking in the dark. Nevertheless his father had sent him to do it and with fear and trepidation Dad went. To his surprise the dogs didn't attack and he returned home with the needed supplies. His Mom told him that his father had followed him the whole way with a shotgun to be sure that he wasn't attacked by the dogs.
In that way he had shown how much he loved my father and my father was relieved to know of that love and felt more at ease as he went to war not knowing if he would return or not.
Heavenly Father was indeed with Christ and guided and led him even through the difficult times, leaving him at the end to allow his sacrifice for us to be fully his own.
Additionally we have Father in Heaven who watches after us. He doesn't spare us the difficult and sometimes harmful situations of life, but he is there to guide and comfort us if and when we accept it.
In the winter it is a common thing to hear about how each snow flake is different. It is amazing, practically unbelievable to imagine that every snowflake is unique and in some way different from every other snowflake. Particularly amazing when our naked eye, most often, cannot see the difference.
Then to think of people and how we each vary from one another in multiple ways--it is mind boggling. We have multiple different skin colors, hair syles, eye colors and shapes, heights and weights, and ways of dressing just to mention a few easily noticable distinctive characteristics. Then to overlay the variety of talents and abilities that people have adds additional layers of diversity. So many abilities! Many of them so subtle that people often don't even know they have them or that they are distinctive from other people.
I have talked to a number of folks who have one of those subtle, not easily noticed, abilities. To be honest I think most if not all people have these inconspicuous talents. They are often amazed when I point them out and even more amazed when they realize the uniqueness that they harbor. It helps them to see the world with more clarity when they begin to see their own uniqueness and realize that each of us is exceptional and irreplaceble.
When we think about talents and abilities we often think of the more glaring and visible ones. I once talked with a young lady who had multiple spectacular abilities and skills. She yearned for people to see past those to her other qualities that she considered more fundamental in making up her person. Singing, art, comedy, instrument playing, and athletic abilities are just a few of the abilities that are more easily noticed. Even if you take one category of abilities, for example athletic, there is a huge variance in a single talent. Even if you take a sub-category of that ability, for example basketball playing ability there is a great variety (think of why we have dunking contests and can differentiate between dunks enough to chose a winner).
When you consider another talent, like empathy, and consider some of the variations of that talent from one who can feel another's pain to one who can anticipate another's need.
Ultimately I must conclude that everyone has multiple abilities and everyone nust have multiple disabilities as well. I was reading an article by Orson Scott card that you can access by clicking on this line. It said: "Our bodies come with a mix of abilities and disabilities. What God cares about is not what we're born with, but how we use whatever talents we've been given."
To use our talents and develope them there must be a time of discovery and then a time of growth and maturity. Finally a time for using the talent as God intended. And then in the process of using it we can advance the talent and magnify it. When we consider all the desirable abilities and talents in the world it is crucial that we recognize our own and learn to use it for God's intent.
As we develope our abilities we then have a strong foundation for overcoming, minimizing or managing our disabilities. Though all disabilities will not be overcome in this life, by recognizing and tapping into the fruits of our strentghs (i.e. confidence, discipline, and determination that result from our recognizing and using our strengths for good) we can overcome or at least accept our inabilities. Some disabilities may actually not be fixed while others may be incapabilities.
It is possible that as Neal Maxwell hints at that our greatest ability to God may be our availability and our greatest disability our inavailability. "God does not begin by asking us about our ability, but only about our availability, and if we then prove our dependability, he will increase our capability." — Neal A. Maxwell
Ether 12:27 And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.
Sometimes life can be rough. Things don't work out like we envisioned, jobs don't come, we remain relatively poor, accidents happen, and people die. Our mind, body or family doesn't come through like we hoped, dreams are dashed, disasters happen, God doesn't do what we want when we hoped he would, and maybe worst of all people don't love us like we thought they would. Oh and that's just the worst of it.
Sometimes small things happen just right, like, someone smiles to us at just the right time, the tax refund pays the unexpected bill, family tells us how wonderful we are, "I love you"s come in time to save our heart or life, and we get a serendipitous surprise that means everything.
That's life! Life doesn't always go just right. And if it did, for some few folks, that itself would be a huge test. Life tests us and then tests some more. God is the tester and we submitted ourselves for the test, because the reward is so huge that the chance to succeed and the risk in the effort is worth it. That's Life! Don't you love it?
That's Life by Micheal Buble:
Lyrics for That's Life:
(Don't let it get you, don't let it get you down
For this world keeps on spinning 'round)
That's life
That's what all the people say
You're riding high in April
You're shot down in May
I know I'm gonna change that tune
When I'm back on top in June
I say that's life
& as funny as it may seem
Some people get their kicks
Stompin' on your dreams
But I don't let it, let it get me down
'Cause this fine ol' world keeps spinning 'round
I've been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate,
A poet, a pawn & a king
I've been up & down & over & out
But I know one thing
Each time I find myself, flat on this face
I pick myself up & get back in the race
That's life
I can't deny it
I thought of quitting, baby
This heart wasn't gonna buy it
And if I didn't think it was worth one single try
I'd jump right on a big bird & then I'd fly
I've been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate,
A poet, a pawn & a king
I've been up & down & over & out
And I know one thing
Each time I find myself flat on my face
I pick myself up & get back in the race
That's life
That's life & I can't deny it
Many times I thought of cutting out
But my heart won't buy it
But if there's nothing shakin' come this here July
I'm gonna roll
I'm gonna roll
I'm gonna roll myself up in a big ball & die
Can't deny it
That's life
Here's a poem you might enjoy by Grace Noll Crowell that goes along with the song.
This, too, will pass. O heart, say it over and over,
Out of your deepest sorrow, out of your deepest grief,
No hurt can last forever -- perhaps tomorrow will bring relief.
This, too, will pass. It will spend itself -- its fury
Will die as the wind dies down with the setting sun.
Assuaged and calm, you will rest again,
Forgetting a thing that is done.
Repeat it again and again, O heart for your comfort:
This, too, will pass as surely as passed before
The old forgotten pain, and the other sorrows
That once you bore.
As certain as stars at night, or dawn after darkness,
Inherent as the lift of the blowing grass,
Whatever your despair or your frustration,
This, too, will pass.
-- Grace Noll Crowell
Once we get going in life we can quickly get caught up in the details and forget what the whole thing is about. On a daily basis we can wake up, have a mental list of things to get done to prepare to go to work, then go to work and do our duties there. Often those things will become routine and we may lose interest in them. We may even get to the point where they don't take much thought.
Then we get off work and we are off to do things to keep life interesting. Our whole day may go by and we might not even think about people beyond whatever their role is in our lives" the cashier, other drivers, someone in line with us etc. We might not think about them in the sense of wanting to help them reach their potential, understand their potential or prepare for their potential. It is possible that we will let our family go by as well and just assume that all is well because it has been well.
Days can turn into weeks and months and then years. Great chunks of our life can go by without much thought beyond what amusements or embellishments we can give life to make it periodically fun or exciting. We may lose the whole picture of life. What is life's purpose and how can that purpose impact our daily life decisions? How can implementing purposeful life activities into our day give us the joy promised in the scriptures? Is that joy at least equal to the fun and excitement of amusements and available entertainment and diversions?
``It is startling how easy it is in today's busy and complex world to get caught up in the thick of thin things, to become prey to the less important. Means begin to occupy us more than ends. Making a living, being included in the best social circles, providing the family with the nice cars, lovely clothes, or extravagant travel opportunities-these may make life enjoyable and comfortable, but they are not the stuff out of which eternal happiness is made. Life is a mission and not a career.
People matter more than things. People matter more than schedules and timetables and products. God and Christ work full time in the business of people, and surely that primary labor contributes in great measure to their fullness of joy." (Robert L. Millet, Men of Valor, p22)
Most of us served missions for the Lord when we were 19, 20, 21 or so. Wasn't that one of the temptations early in the mission. To get diverted by the things around us that we hadn't experienced before. I heard of a young man serving in Chicago who loved the hot dogs there, better than at home. On my mission to Thailand, one of the early temptations was all the available cheap music. I couldn't even listen to it as a missionary but I purchased it and sent it home because it was so cheap. Letting my thoughts get caught up in what I would buy and my music collection and diverting from the people that needed the gospel all around me, including ironical those that worked in the music shop.
Then late in the mission, most missionaries want to use every minute productively, often using P-days for more teaching and service than relaxation and preparation. The missionary has learned to love the people and sees the end of his mission with fear and will use every minute to push the end away instead of bringing it on. Every person becomes more important to that missionary and he doesn't want any opportunities to pass by without his best effort to convert the world.
As men we need to recognize early the importance of each person around us and use our effort to be an example and a preparer for them to accept the truth. This of course is of utmost importance in our family. See people for who they are and not the roles they fulfill in your life. Remember our career is as "Son's of God" not whatever job we have here. This is our mission and we don't want it to be waisted away or diminished. We want to remember our mission here on this earth is all about people: Ourselves, our wife, our family, our neighbors and as we are able to expand beyond that. Remember what we are about, and don't get tangled up in the diversions or details until we forget the purpose.
