What I've Been Reading #14: Special Edition

I completed the book Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer.  I read the book because I had wanted to see the movie when it came out earlier in the year, but missed it.  Since my experience tells me that the book is always better I thought I might as well read the book and then see the movie when it comes out on DVD. 

As expected after having read about the movie and seeing previews of the movie, the book was about Oskar Schell a 9 year old boy whose father died in the 911 events.  Oskar is not your typical child nor is he a typical boy.  Quirky and unique Oskar deals with his father's death in a very unexpected manner.

Because of the closeness Oskar had with his father and the very original activities they shared, Oskar is lead into a truly odd way of dealing with his father's death.  Oskar finds a vase in his father's closet with a small envelope with an unusual key in it.  On the envelope it says "Black".  Because he and his father have done similar things when his Dad was alive Oskar determines that this is his father's way of telling him something and now he just has to figure out what the key goes to in order to know what his father wanted to tell him.  So we are off to the races as Oskar with his great intellect and original creativity seeks to find his father's meaning.  The story is really great.  It is a real testament to how close and influential a father son relationship can be. 

However, there is an additional story that is woven through the book.  Oskar's grandparents have a unique story of their own.  Oskar doesn't know his grandfather and has never met him.  But the story of his grandparents marriage and relationship is told very open with sometimes too much detail. 

This second story serves as a counter point to show how hurtful a father's relationship can be as well--only this story is told from the father's relationship.  How emotionally harmed he is because of his poor choices with his son. 

The point seems to be that father's and son's desperately need the relationship with each other to have a meaningful existence.  Two other much shorter father-son stories are in the book as well.  One positive and one negative.  The author shares his point again that father's need their sons and sons need their fathers. 

The book left me a bit confused about whether I liked it or not.  There were parts that I found objectionable balanced by parts that I found very affirming of good.  Once again the balance, maybe intended by the author, forcing, I think, the reader to determine the meaning of the book.  Most likely each reader's determination of the meaning will be determined by their own relationship with their father, and that unwritten relationship influencing the reader will ultimately determine what the reader gains from the book. 

Then today, by chance, I saw a movie that helped me to put this book in perspective:  Facing the Giants.  This movie is an earlier one by the same group that put out Courageous which I have raved about in the past.  This movie is great as well.  Strong on the Christian values and slightly preachy, it touches the heart, especially male hearts.

There is a part in the movie's story that really touched me however and continued this theme of father son relationships from the book Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close. 

A young man and his father move into the little town portrayed there.  The father is a college professor and is in a wheelchair.  His son is a soccer player but the town doesn't have soccer at the school, only football.  So the father encourages the son to try out and he does, but he is intimidated by the sport but is kept on the team as a back up kicker.  Consequently he plays very little.  The couch gives him a few opportunities to kick field goals throughout the season but mostly he rides the bench.  Each of the few times he kicks a field goal his father calls his name after his son is lined up and in an encouraging gesture from a seated position in his wheel chair raises both his arms straight up to indicate "You can do it". 

After losing their first three games miserably, the team ends up making it to the state finals through a variety of miracles.  As you might guess the game comes down to needing a field goal with 2 seconds left for the win.  The first string kicker is hurt during the game and so it is up to the young man with weak confidence.  But there is a problem.  A 51 yard field goal is needed and this young man has never hit one from that distance.  His longest field goal even in practice has been only 39 yards.  The coach encourages him but the young man tells the coach that he can't do it.  The coach sends him to the field anyways and the boy lines up to kick.  He is shaking his head as he lines up because he knows he cannot do what is required.  His coach sees the boys utter lack of confidence and wishes he could call a time out to encourage him more but they have used all their time outs.  The father calls the boys name to do his normal encouraging symbol but the boy refuses to look because he is so utterly sure he cannot do it that he will not allow himself to receive any encouragement. 

 

The opposing coach calls a time out to "ice the kicker".  The coach does his best during the time out to encourage the kicker and when he returns to the field and lines up to take his kick this time he looks over to his father's spot to allow his Dad to encourage him.  Now the boy wants to try his best.  But his father and his wheelchair are gone.  The boy is surprised and disappointed but must do his part.  He looks to the goal post down the field to get his bearings and there is his Dad standing just behind the fence behind the goal post.  Standing on unsteady legs, leaning forward against the fence to hold himself up with his arms raised straight up from his sides to encourage his son.  In essence saying "We can do hard things".

The kicker now will give it his all after the strong words of encouragement from his coach and his father who has done a hard thing to encourage his son.  The ball is hiked and he steps to the ball to kick it with all that he has.  He kicks the ball so hard that the motion pulls his left leg out from under him and he ends up on his back.  Yes the ball splits the uprights and the game it won.  Good prevails one more time.

So what is it about fathers and sons and the profound relationship of love and encouragement that they have between the two of them.  What is it about the son who listens, trusts and honors his father that makes the Father want to be a better man?  What is it about the father who loves, respects and encourages his son that makes the son want to do his best and be just like his Dad?  This relationship has the potential to really determine the path of both of them. 

Please father's don't let your sons down.  And sons, honor your fathers and that will help them be more worthy fathers. 

Here is a trailer from the movie Facing the Giants:

Here is the part of the movie that I've described above.  Little does the coach know that God wasn't done with him for that day.  Watch the movie to get the rest of the story!

Patience is a virtue

My kids grew up hearing that phrase, "patience is a virtue" from me.  Most often it was when they didn't want to hear it.  But I think it has really taught them a lot. I think they have learned that patience is valuable, because there is so much that isn't available on demand.  Well, I suppose the truth is there are plenty of things that are available on demand.  However, the things of most value seem to require patience and effort.  I was just looking at a blog of some friends that are hoping to adopt.  (Click here for Amy and Chris's hoping to adopt blog)  Certainly Patience is likely to be required there. 

A lot of patience is required nowadays for young couples to save for the things that are important and that some generations in the past have taken for granted.  Like having your own apartment after you are married.  My kids are learning that with school and other bills that an apartment is something that takes time and saving to get into.  Purchasing a home has gotten harder in today's world and will likely take a lot of patience for our children to be able to purchase. 

Because of the frequent reminder to our children that patience is a virtue and the many times we did without or had to wait for something that was wanted we were able to have a fun time with our girls one day.  Lisa and I went to Sam's club and took the girls with us.  They were young and one thing that they really wanted was a trampoline.  They were prominently displayed at this Sam's Club and we knew the kids would ask/beg for one when we went.  They always did.  

By this time they had displayed good patience because we hadn't been able to afford a trampoline and they were often disappointed.  I think we avoided taking the kids there sometimes because we would have to go through that inevitable disappointment when they couldn't have the trampoline that clearly wanted to come to our house. 

On this day however, we had saved the money (or maybe it was tax return money) and we were prepared to purchase it, but we didn't tell them.  True to form as we were shopping for food the kids wanted to look at and then buy a trampoline and started asking/begging/pleading for one.  So, nonchalantly I told them to go get a flatbed cart to put it on and we would get one.  They didn't believe me but went and got the cart anyway.  Then I told them to put one on there and I don't think they believed it until our turn came in the line and we paid for it. 

Needless to say they were excited, and hopefully they learned that not only is patience a virtue but it also tends to make it even more enjoyable when the time comes to get that thing that you have wanted and have been patient for. 

Alex Smith of the San Francisco 49ers has learned that lesson this year.  He is the starting quarterback and has led the 49ers to the playoffs.  Last weekend they just lost their bid to go to the Superbowl but they nonetheless had a terrific year.  Alex Smith had struggled his first seven years in the NFL.  Surprisingly his team had the patience to keep him and give him a chance again after all that time.  And Alex had the patience to stay prepared and keep trying to reach the success that he hoped for.  Congratulations to Alex Smith and to all those who have the patience to be successful. 

A tidbit of "Wow" from BYU's football season so far

So the season hasn't started out as wonderful as we might have liked for BYU football.  BYU won the first ball game 14-13 over Ole Miss.  Seemed like it should have been a bigger win, but it wasn't.  Last week they played Texas and lost 17-16.  The first half Texas was terrible and we looked great.  The second half we had so much empathy for them we decided to give that terribleness a shot and of course we ended up losing the game.  So to this point the offense has shown a little bit of good and a lot of messy.  The defense has shown a good portion of great and a little bit of "what's going on".

 

So what is the "wow" referred to in the title.  How about this: More people have watched BYU football on T.V. in the last two games (drum role) than have watched them on T.V. in the previous six seasons!  That's amazing.  That should have been worth an additional two points in last weeks game!

So today we play the University of Utah in the rivalry game.  Should be interesting.  Which team will win by one point?  Even though the game's meaning is different since we both have left the Mountain West Conference, it still, like always will be one of the games that gets talked about the most.  I mean if you are a cougar fan, what games do you talk about in years to come?  The games we play Utah.  For proof, I was on the phone with my daughter who likes football and of course we were talking about the upcoming BYU UofU game.  She got so excited that she went on her smart phone and was playing a replay of the John Beck to Johnny Harline catch the won the game as the clock ran out a few years back.  Her husband, not a big football fan didn't sound too excited.  I guess you had to be there which she was or in my case getting texts from her as the game went along.  This is the game we talk about regardless of what bowl we go to and all that kind of stuff. 

Maybe this picture symbolizes BYU trying to stake their claim in the rocky ground of football independence.

Oh, and by the way, keep your eyes peeled for Prime Minister of Tonga and his wife Robyn Kaho.  They are attending the game from Tonga and have family on both sides of the football. 

BYU begins their independent season today!

BYU football has really taken the spotlight for this season.  After declaring independence from their football conference and then making a great contract with ESPN sports, added to their television station that will broadcast or rebroadcast the games, they really have gotten the attention of many football fans.  Today they play Ole Miss in Mississippi.  I'm excited to see how well they can do and see if they can do as well as the hype has suggested.

One of the things I enjoy about the BYU football team is that they recognize there are things more important than football.  Their head coach Bronco Mendenhall has commented on several occasions that some things are more important and football comes fourth or fifth on his list after such things as family and faith. 

Friday night the football team had a fireside at a stake center in Mississippi.  Bronco spoke along with a tight end and a defensive back.  A kicker also sang.  President Samuelson, the President of BYU and a member of the quorum of the seventy was given a key to the city. 

1200 people attended the Friday night fireside and Bronco said that the fireside is usually his favorite part of the trips.  He had this to say about the team in a deseret news article:
"I like football, but the events on Friday night are really special," he said. "I think it lends credibility when we play well. There have only been I think seven teams that have won more games the past five years than us. I just like the thought that it is possible, not only possible, desirable to do more than just play ball."
"There's a lot of them that are married and doing other things and I think in our life we can focus on other things and still be successful," he said. "Football, at the end of the day and at the end of our lives, will be just a way maybe you've helped other people.
"I'm not sure that in and of itself will be enough to really put our stamp on what we've done here on this Earth. Hopefully we're maximizing our talents and I'm asking our players to do the very best they can through the gifts they've been given to really maybe share a message."

Go Cougars!

Competition or cooperation?

Sometimes we have strong competitive feelings.  That is the norm when we talk about sports and one team playing another.  In recent years we have taken that competition to greater heights where we vilify the other team and spend days and weeks identifying their weaknesses in the field of play and unfortunately in their life too.  We try to find any edge to help them play poorly so our team can win.  If we can make them feel too small, too week or too ill prepared, or barring all that if we can just make them lose their focus during the game then we can give them the impression that we are better or bigger than we are. 

That is despicable when it happens in sports but it has grown way beyond sports to life in general.  Anytime someone feels competition with another the field now includes jibes about their personal life. 

I remember when I was a child and this sort of thing was happening back then.  The last resort for a child to say in the school yard when nothing else could be said to gain an edge was "Your mommy wears Army boots!"  That always struck me as funny, even when I was a kid.  Nowadays there are plenty of mother's in the military and they do indeed where Army boots. 


In the video entitled "Same Jersey" we learn about two competitive boys who are quarterbacks on opposite teams.  They both want to win the game but simply by their team doing their best.  They have a very close relationship.  Watch it and be inspired. 

I was visiting a Branch of the church on an Army base a few weeks ago.  This branch was specifically for students in the military who are prohibited from leaving the base because they are at the beginning of their service and haven't earned that freedom yet.  Most of them came dressed in their military camouflage fatigues.  They were all on the same team and they treated each other with respect.  The ladies and the men were dressed the same and both treated respectfully.  

Although I was dressed in a suit I was on their team as well.  The outside appearance may have been different but our loyalties were the same. 

When I used to coach city league girl's basketball a few years ago, sometimes the girls would express that they wished players on the other team would play poorly or be sick for a game so that we could more easily win.  I taught them however that the key was for us to play our best.  And, that we wanted the other team to play their best so that when we beat them then we could say we really had done something meaningful.  The goal wasn't a win, but rather that we did our best.   

So when we sit at church and look around the congregation are we able to recognize that we are on the same team and not trying to out do, out dress, out cool each other.  When we make comments in Sunday School are we able to enjoy and grow from the comments of others or are we busy trying to figure out what we can say that is better than the other guy.  Can we remove competition from church and from the home and maybe find that while we are moving it out that we need to move it right on out of our life?  Can we recognize that all of the people around us are our brothers and sisters, and we can help, can love, can encourage, can support their best efforts instead of trying to outdo them?  Let's not compete with others and instead help all, including ourselves to be the best we each can be.

cooperation

cooperation

cooperation

cooperation