Guest Blog: Remember the Window

Fall is my favorite season of the year, and last evening, we finally had our first taste of it.  It was back-to-school night at the middle school, and I returned home shortly before 9:00 in the evening. The temperature had fallen into the mid-60's; Dallas had opened the windows and the cool breeze felt wonderful!  But by the time I went to bed, the coolness had turned to chilliness.  I closed the bathroom window so that during my nighttime visit(s) I wouldn't end up shivering--and waking myself up in the process!

At some point during the night I made one of my predictable nocturnal bathroom visits.  Much to my chagrin, I found that the window had once again been opened.  Shivering, I hurried to close it.  Knowing that his internal thermostat and mine are rarely in sync, in my mind's eye I could see Dallas rolling his eyes as he opened that window a second time.  By the time I crawled back into bed, I found it difficult to fall back asleep, owing to the fact that I had given place for the growing seed of resentment at my husband's perceived insensitivity.

Thankfully, when I got up the next morning most of my resentment had dissipated.  I happened to mention to Dallas that I had found the window open again in the night, after I had closed it to ward off the chill from the cooler nighttime air.  He responded rather sheepishly that when he went into the bathroom later that evening and found the window was closed, he figured he had absentmindedly forgotten to open it in the first place! 

This rather small incident reminded me how easy it is to attribute totally erroneous motives to the actions of others, even those closest to us.  When I found that window open, I ascribed it to Dallas putting his own comfort ahead of my own.  But I couldn't have been further from the truth.  In consequence, I spent precious time and emotion plodding self-righteously down a path that had no foundation in reality.  I perceived myself as an injured party, where no injury--or even awareness!--was to be found.

I hope that the next time I'm tempted to assume the role of the aggrieved party, I'll remember the lesson I learned today from the window.

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