When we travel to the Outer Banks, one leg of our journey takes us on U.S. Route 460 in Virginia. Since we frequent OBX in the off-season, the traffic is usually light. It was on one of these trips that we came up over a rise along the route to face a frightening scene: a car facing northbound in our southbound lane!
Thankfully, after only a split second we realized that what had appeared to be a a car driving in the wrong direction was in reality a car being towed. Our hearts stopped pounding and returned from our throats to their proper places. What a relief!
When I think about that experience, I am reminded that things aren't always as they appear. And that even scary or worrisome things might not be quite what they seem.
Perhaps your angry spouse is in reality frustrated because of pressures and changes at work. Maybe your daughter who seems depressed just isn't getting enough sleep. You find yourself uncharacteristically impatient with the new co-worker in the cubicle next to yours--but what you really are is hungry! Remember: people cry at weddings as well as at funerals.
Of course it works the other way as well, and a remark that seems innocuous may actually be an indicator of something serious festering. And when we're talking about people we care about, the stakes can be high.
by pineapple15; licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 2.0
So how do we figure it out?
I think the answer has to do with time. We have to spend time listening to, asking questions of and really being with our spouse, our daughter, our co-worker, our customer, our neighbor--and even ourselves!!! (Being with ourselves is sometimes the hardest, especially if we're accustomed to taking care of everyone else first.) But investing time in relationships and deepening our connections with the people we care about pays dividends over and over.
So the next time you're taken aback by the words or actions of someone you care about, make the time to dig a little deeper.
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| "Day 104: Wrong Way" by cliftonj is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 2.0 |
Thankfully, after only a split second we realized that what had appeared to be a a car driving in the wrong direction was in reality a car being towed. Our hearts stopped pounding and returned from our throats to their proper places. What a relief!
 |
"Tow Your Boat" by CJ Sorg is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0    |
When I think about that experience, I am reminded that things aren't always as they appear. And that even scary or worrisome things might not be quite what they seem.
Perhaps your angry spouse is in reality frustrated because of pressures and changes at work. Maybe your daughter who seems depressed just isn't getting enough sleep. You find yourself uncharacteristically impatient with the new co-worker in the cubicle next to yours--but what you really are is hungry! Remember: people cry at weddings as well as at funerals.
Of course it works the other way as well, and a remark that seems innocuous may actually be an indicator of something serious festering. And when we're talking about people we care about, the stakes can be high.
by pineapple15; licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 2.0
So how do we figure it out?
I think the answer has to do with time. We have to spend time listening to, asking questions of and really being with our spouse, our daughter, our co-worker, our customer, our neighbor--and even ourselves!!! (Being with ourselves is sometimes the hardest, especially if we're accustomed to taking care of everyone else first.) But investing time in relationships and deepening our connections with the people we care about pays dividends over and over.
So the next time you're taken aback by the words or actions of someone you care about, make the time to dig a little deeper.