Thursday, October 10, 2019

Just a Reflection

A few weeks ago on a routine Target run, I emerged from my car to the sound of live accordion music.  It wasn't hard to locate the source, as the man playing had it hooked up to an amp.  He had set himself up on one of those decorative landscaping islands at the end of a row in the parking lot, and there he sat under the shade of a tree, playing lively music on his accordion.


"setting up" by danoxster is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 2.0 

I walked up the parking lot in the row parallel to his, and could see that he had posted a makeshift sign on a white board, although from that distance I couldn't make out what he had written.  But as I made my way through the store, I couldn't shake my thoughts of the man.  So after making my purchases, I pulled a dollar from my purse and walked over to read his sign.  

The sign read that he had four children, and that he needed money for "daipers," bills and rent.  His handwriting led me to believe that English was not his native language.  I thanked him for his music, put my dollar in the makeshift contribution box he had fashioned by cutting a hole in a piece of cardboard and placing it on top of his empty accordion case, and headed to my car.  was impressed to think that rather than asking or begging for money, the man was determined to offer what he had in exchange for what he needed.  

"File:Disposable Huggies Diapers at Kroger.jpg" by ParentingPatch is licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0

But then I had the thought that I should buy some diapers for his baby.  I walked all the way to my car, wrestling with myself about that impression, with thoughts like these:

"What if he's just making it up, saying that he has kids when he really doesn't?"

"I already gave him some money."

Then I remembered a general conference talk by Michelle Craig.  In it she related the experience a sister who was a neighbor of President Spencer W. Kimball.  One Sunday she noticed he had worn a new suit to church, and thought that the silk her father had recently brought her would make a handsome tie for President Kimball.  She was an accomplished seamstress, and the next day, she made the necktie for him, carefully wrapping it in tissue paper before walking up the block to President Kimball's home.  

"On her way to the front door, she suddenly stopped and thought, 'Who am I to make a tie for the prophet?  He probably has plenty of them.'  Deciding she had made a mistake, she turned to leave.

"Just then Sister Kimball opened the front door and said, 'Oh, Susan!'

"Stumbling all over herself, Susan said, 'I saw President Kimball in his new suit on Sunday.  Dad just brought me some silk from New York...and so I made him a tie.'

"Before Susan could continue, Sister Kimball stopped her, took hold of her shoulders, and said: 'Susan, never suppress a generous thought."

"Thoughts" by Larisa Alexandru is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 4.0

I decided to take Sister Kimball's advice.  So I turned myself around, and headed back to the man to ask him what size diapers his baby needed. Then I went in to Target and bought a box of diapers and some baby wipes. When I came back out with the diapers, the man's wife had arrived in a van which was packed quite full with belongings, leading me to wonder if they could be living out of their van.  I asked the man if this was his wife; he said yes, and I gave her the diapers.  She hugged and thanked me.  She spoke with a heavy accent but I understood from what she said that her husband didn't have the papers he needed in order for him to work.  I believe I may have been smiling more broadly than this couple when I left the Target parking lot that afternoon.

A few weeks later, my sister shared with me something from a post she had recently read.  The author had offered help to someone in a situation similar to the one I encountered, and was scolded by a family member for allowing himself to be taken advantage of.  The family member said "He was probably scamming you, telling you some sob story to get help he doesn't really need."  

The man responded simply and profoundly:  "If he is lying, that is a reflection on his character.  But if I fail to help someone in need, that is a reflection on mine."

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