Thursday, July 18, 2019

What's Wrong With You?

The day after Independence Day was a holiday from work for both Dallas and I, and we took advantage of the time off by running a few errands together.  Just as we were about to drive through the busiest intersection in our town on the green light, we heard sirens--and looked up to see a fire engine hurtling down the cross street towards the intersection.

  "Westerville Fire Department Engine 112" by Seluryar is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0 

Dallas braked immediately, but our vehicle was already over the limit line for the intersection.  With cars in the lane behind us, we had no option but to remain where we were and wait for the fire engine to pass.


  "pavement" by whizchickenonabun is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 2.0

By the time the fire engine made it through the intersection, our southbound traffic light had turned red.  So there we were, poking out into the intersection as the light turned green for the cross-traffic.  Thankfully we hadn't actually encroached into the eastbound travel lanes, so we weren't impeding traffic.  But still it felt like we were sticking out "like a sore thumb."



                                      "Stop On Red" by phototakeouterBX is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 2.0


I started thinking about our situation, and how it might appear to the other drivers around us.  Certainly the drivers of other cars in the southbound lanes with us knew what had happened, and knew why we were stopped so far out into the intersection.  But as the cross-traffic continued through the intersection, I expect that some of those drivers may have wondered what we were doing sticking out so far.  Some may have found that irritating; some may have wondered what was wrong with us; some may have resented the extra time and attention our position required of them in order to navigate the intersection safely.



I think something similar happens regularly in our day-to-day lives.  We cross paths with someone whose position--physically, socially, emotionally or philosophically--seems out of sync with what is considered acceptable or normative.  That position may even present some sort of delay--or obstacle--to reaching our own goals and meeting our own agendas.  We might wonder what's wrong with him, or resent the time that is required of us to "deal with" her.  But we don't know what has happened to bring them that place.  And if we did, it all just might make perfect sense.  

                                  "puzzle" by olgaberrios is licensed under CC BY 2.0

W. Craig Zwick said it like this:  "There exists today a great need for men and women to cultivate respect for each other across wide distances of belief and behavior and across deep canyons of conflicting agendas.  It is impossible to know all that informs our minds and hearts or even to fully understand the context for the trials and choices we each face....Shockingly, it [does] not matter who [is] more right.  What matter[s is] listening to each other and understanding the other's perspective...It may not change or solve the problem, but the more important possibility may be whether ministering grace could change us."

I appreciate this reminder that even if problems and challenges don't change, our hearts can. 


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